After Us.

Ive been sitting with my thoughts more lately. And it’s been a while since I’ve written like this, but something about this moment feels worth holding on to. So I’m letting myself slow down to revisit a memory that’s been resurfacing lately as I navigate new friendships and a renewed sense of love. 

—————

It’s strange what time does.

Many years later and I’ve forgotten the small things. 

I don’t remember the exact sound of your laugh anymore.
Or the way your voice changed depending on who you were talking to.
I can’t recall the little habits I used to know so well, the things that once felt permanent, like they were etched into me.

They’ve faded.

Not all at once.

Not in some dramatic, heartbreaking way.
Just slowly. 

Quietly.
Like something being washed away over time until one day you realize it’s gone.

And I think that used to scare me.
The idea that someone who once knew me so deeply, whether as a friend or something more, could become distant like that. 

That memories could blur. 

That details could disappear.

But now it feels different.

Because even though I’ve forgotten the small things,

I remember how it felt.
I remember the closeness.
The way we could talk about anything.
The way, at one point in my life, you were someone I chose and trusted, fully and without hesitation.

And every now and then, you still cross my mind.

Not in a way that pulls me backward.
Not in a way that makes me wish things were different.

But in a quiet, passing thought.
Like wondering what your life looks like now.
If you found the things you were searching for.

If you became the person you were trying to grow into.

I don’t miss you in the way I used to.
But I care in a way that doesn’t need anything in return.
I’ve always said I’d be in your corner.
And even though life took us in completely different directions, even though we don’t speak anymore, I meant that.

I still do.

So wherever you are, whoever you’ve become,
I hope you’re happy.
I hope life has been kind to you.
I hope you’ve found people who understand you in ways that matter.
I hope you’ve built something that feels like peace.

And maybe that’s what time really gives you.
Not forgetting in a painful way,
but in a peaceful one.

Where what once was everything, becomes something softer.
Something distant, but still respected.
Still held with care.
Not love in the way it used to be.
But something close to it.